How to break the cycle of rumination

This is rumination and it feels like a song playing over and over in our heads. Rumination has two components: one, endless thoughts, most often negative and limiting; and two, the frequency of the thought in terms of repetition. With rumination, we find ourselves thinking about the same thing over and over, replaying it in our heads, and in the process, causing ourselves distress, anxiety and emotional fatigue.

Also read: From weekend fights to emotional distance: Navigating common couple conflicts

One feels as if one is stuck and suffering because the thoughts seem to have consumed us. The American Psychological Association (APA) describes rumination as “obsessional thinking involving excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that interfere with other forms of mental activity. It is a common feature of obsessive-compulsive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder."

While the definition states that it is a feature of certain mental health conditions, rumination can exist even in the absence of mental health illness. For anyone who struggles with anxiety, rumination is a common feature.

At some stage of our life, whether we have a propensity for anxiety or not, all of us have slipped into a ruminative pattern. For instance, think about time there was a challenging situation at hand or when a conversation with someone didn’t land well and you go over it again and again.

However, rumination becomes a concern that needs to be addressed when it seems to be happening more often than not, irrespective of the nature of the concern. Frequency, along with intensity, becomes a marker.

As per the APA definition, rumination becomes a concern when it begins to interfere with other activities and our daily life. Clients mention how it impacts their ability to sleep, quality of sleep, concentration, focus, patience and tolerance levels. I have had clients who mention how their work productivity and relational presence is impacted because they are constantly fatigued by a ruminative pattern that disrupts their capacity to show up fully.

What also accompanies rumination is catastrophising—where people find themselves imagining worst-case scenarios and what could go wrong. This in turn leads to more anxiety and a feeling of not being in control.

Generally, rumination is followed by a sharp inner critic, an internal dialogue where there is self-blame and doubts about one’s capabilities. It is sometimes followed by limiting thoughts where there is micro-analysing of every behaviour and word and then a fear about unintentionally behaving in ways that might have angered others or saying something one should not have. This leads one to think that others may dislike or judge them.

Becoming aware of one’s own patterns of rumination is the first step to addressing it. What I have found useful when I catch myself engaging in rumination is to acknowledge what I’m feeling and then focus on what I can control.

The act of slowing down my breath, paying mindful attention to nature and micro-interactions and then doing something that fully absorbs my attention is calming. So whether it’s cooking, working out, going for a run or the simple act of putting clothes in the cupboard, activity helps.

In the long run, learning to trust oneself, operating with self-compassion and looking at concerns in relation to the evidence that surrounds it are necessary. It may be a good idea to see a mental health professional if rumination is impacting your quality of life and consuming you. Remember, we all can learn how to manage it.

Sonali Gupta is a Mumbai-based psychotherapist. She is the author of the book You Will be Alright: A Guide to Navigating Grief and has a YouTube channel, Mental Health with Sonali.

Also read: Use self-soothing techniques to cope with difficult feelings