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'HeadStart' offers tips on managing a challenging boss
Summary
Through real-life examples from the authors' coaching expertise, the book offers guidance on coping with challenging bosses and strategic exit strategies to prioritise mental well-beingHave you heard the saying, ‘People don’t leave their organizations, they leave their boss’? Unfortunately, there is some truth in that. Some bosses just seem to have a knack for pushing all the wrong buttons—from yelling and bullying to inventing fake deadlines or making you cancel your vacation for something trivial.
Despite giving our best, our relationship with our boss can sometimes become difficult. If this rings true for you, it might be necessary to address the issue or end the relationship as a last resort. Many individuals continue working in impossible situations, hoping things will improve. However, if the situation is truly unbearable, it is unlikely to get better. Be mature enough to recognize this and look for other opportunities, either inside or outside the company. We have heard many excuses for why young professionals choose to stay under an impossible boss:
‘I owe it to my team to stay.’
‘I think things will improve.’
‘I’m rising above this for the good of the organization.’
While staying for the sake of your team or the organization may seem noble, if your self-esteem is being negatively affected and if it is impacting your mental health, it is not worth your time to stay invested.
Figure out what kind of boss you’re dealing with... Are they a know-it-all, an alpha, a micromanager, two-faced or just plain incompetent? Understanding their style can give you some clues on how to navigate the rocky waters you find yourself in. Take a moment to consider if your frustration with the boss is because of a recent incident or a long-standing issue in your working relationship. If it is indeed a long-standing issue, perhaps it’s time to let go of the emotion and brainstorm ways to enhance the relationship.
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How much time have you spent working with the boss? Have you finished at least one performance cycle with them? If it’s only been a few months, it might be too soon to jump ship. Bosses come and go, roles change, and sometimes, people surprise you. Give it some time before you throw in the towel. Also, make sure you know about any upcoming events that may alter your situation so you don’t have to quit.
Have you made any attempts to improve the relationship? Dealing with a difficult boss can be tough, but we’ve observed various approaches young professionals take to address the issue. Some choose to keep interactions to a minimum, while others go above and beyond to win their boss over. However, if you opt for minimal interaction, it might offer short-term relief but could eventually be perceived as insubordination by your boss.
On the other hand, we have seen professionals put in their best efforts despite the challenges and maintain a professional attitude. This demonstrates dedication and a strong work ethic. By boosting your boss’s confidence and putting in extra effort to present your ideas convincingly, you can potentially win them over. Dedicate additional time to persuade them, even if you expect resistance at first. Sometimes, a little extra effort can go a long way.
Ultimately, finding a balance between managing these challenges and maintaining your professionalism and self-esteem can help you sail through this tricky situation.
Check your bias
Now, before you sharpen your pitchfork, ask yourself: Are you being fair? Is your judgement clouded by frustration? We’re all guilty of the Fundamental Attribution Error—judging others harshly while cutting ourselves some slack. Take a step back, give your boss the benefit of the doubt and try to see things from their point of view. Don’t forget that your boss likely wants what’s best, just like you, and may not intentionally be making your life unbearable.
Consulting with someone you trust can help you gain a realistic and unbiased understanding of your relationship with your boss. Viewing things from a third person’s perspective can reveal patterns in your manager’s behaviour and areas where you can improve. Contacting the HR department of the organization is the last step in addressing problems with your boss. Being absolutely sure is essential before proceeding with this step.
If you’ve tried everything and still feel like you’re paddling upstream, it might be time to consider your options. Weigh your next move carefully. Whether it’s finding a new role within the company or finding opportunities elsewhere, don’t be afraid to make a change for the better. Learn from tough experiences with bad bosses while maintaining your confidence and motivation. Do not fear making a change. If you do it for the right reasons and approach it sensibly, you can mitigate the associated risks, feel liberated and land something better.
Excerpted with permission from HeadStart: Unlock the Secrets to Career Success, by Vivek Gambhir & Sunder Ramachandran, Penguin Random House India.
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