Manu Joseph: How to reform your son after you watched a TV show

You are showing some toxic signs already, or at least they seem toxic. For instance, you spend hours alone because you love it. Your love for sports demonstrates a clear need for aggression and ambition. You have never plucked a single flower, which is disturbing. You don’t read made-up drama.

Also Read: How to miss the entire point of ‘Adolescence’ on Netflix

To reform you, I must force you to watch Adolescence, which is about a boy of 13 who is suspected of murdering a girl his age. You will suffer chiefly because it is slow. It’s a show on adolescence for adults, like one of those films made in India for foreigners.

You have a problem; it is a toxic substance called testosterone inside you. It builds muscle, improves oxygen delivery in the blood, reduces inflammation, enhances spatial problem-solving and memory, and influences fat distribution. It also triggers sexual desire. Most of what some feminists think is caused by testosterone in men of their age is probably caused by morning cortisol; even so, testosterone influences the development of those dangerous things called muscles from where the ill-gotten powers of men arise. You have many times the level of this hormone than a girl your age, and that is worrisome.

I am told by reformers of men that there is something called a ‘manosphere,’ which is a devious world on the internet that belongs to men, though it is hard to tell what about this world does not belong to men. Let us say the ‘manosphere’ is a lot worse than the world that belongs to men. It is also filled with stuff that boys might be interested in, like videos by fitness instructors on making muscles. Fitness is a lure through which young boys are radicalized.

Also Read: Netflix's ‘Adolescence’ and the cost of profits: Why kids online are not okay

Why are you building your muscles when you can do something better, like stretching exercises or sitting in a lotus position with eyes shut? Nobody knows what meditation means, but it sounds like something good.

Also, you should read literary fiction. All men should read it. This is the life-altering advice of all knowledgeable reformers of men, which includes men who are probably blessed with low testosterone levels.

In a work of literary fiction, you will find delicate men who notice the colour of curtains. Like: “Grant caught sight of two layers of front-window curtains, both blue, one sheer and one silky, a matching blue sofa and a daunting pale carpet…" See, that is a new way to be. Men who read literary fiction are appealing and safe, unlike muscular men. Even women who don’t read find men who read appealing.

My darling son, as you can see, the objective of your life should be to be more like women, but without their bone density.

Also Read: Mapping the Indian Manosphere

You should start expressing your emotions more. You may argue that any fool who has watched sports will know that men express their emotions freely. But somehow that is not the same. You should express emotions in ways that are interesting to people who do not find sports interesting. Though it was very moving to watch Roger Federer cry. Men should cry more. Your future girlfriend will hate you for it because ideally men should cry only when they win a grand slam, or something as rare, but she may not be able to admit it in public. What matters is what reformers of men say in public, which is that you must cry more.

You need to keep talking about your mental health, especially. A strange way of the world is that you will never hear diabetics give sermons on physical health; but much of the articulation of mental health is by people who say they are not mentally healthy. What can go wrong? Nothing, apparently. So you must sit and listen to them talk about themselves.

You will observe in Adolescence how the show’s female characters are constantly ‘regulating’ the emotions of men. This means that when a muscular guy in deep sorrow is getting angry with the world, flailing his arms and expressing himself in a negative way (even though he is never cross with his wife and daughter, whom he keeps referring to as “love"), he is calmed by the women who let him vent. This aspect of the series has reminded several reformers of men that all peace in a family is a contribution of women because they ‘regulate the emotions of men.’

Also Read: Let women reclaim the right to rage

Look, you may not fully understand this complex explanation from a ‘science of the humanities,’ which by the way I forbid you to follow as you must seek a more lucrative career. What matters in life is not understanding all the good stuff, just knowing the synopsis of all the good stuff.

When we sit to watch Adolescence, you will notice a big flaw. We don’t see the point of view of the dead girl. Now that is because the creators of the series are men and may have indulged in something called the ‘male gaze,’ which is a horrible device by which male artists express only what they know. You should, of course, condemn it,

Men who call other men ‘misogynists’ are often frauds, but it is an excellent way to defame your competition. Be smart, dear son, be modern.

The author is a journalist, novelist, and the creator of the Netflix series, ‘Decoupled’.