Is it okay to ghost your therapist?
Summary
They’ve been witness to the messy bits of your life, making it awkward to explain why you want to see someone else. But it's not unusual for people to quietly disengage after a few sessions, say therapists
We don’t think twice before switching our dentist, dermatologist or ENT. But when it comes to our therapist, doing the same thing feels heavier, like walking out of a relationship, not just a room. Maybe because therapy is a space where we go to feel seen. And ending something with someone who has seen your messy bits can feel weighty.
Some opt to just walk away without informing, partly because they hate confrontation. “In therapy, where clients are already in a vulnerable position, the idea of expressing hesitations or reservations about continuing can feel especially daunting," says Bengaluru-based clinical psychologist Tejendra Singh.
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It’s not unusual for people to quietly disengage after two-three sessions, Singh says, especially when a bond is yet to be formed. But even in longer-term therapy, some clients simply stop showing up without offering any explanation, responding to the therapist’s follow-up messages with radio silence. “Some worry they’ll hurt the therapist’s feelings. Others just want to avoid the awkwardness," says Singh.
Sometimes, the very patterns that brought them to therapy—fear of conflict, difficulty expressing needs—begin to show up in the therapy room, he notes. “The therapeutic space, while designed to be safe and non-judgmental, can still evoke these familiar emotional defences, making honest closure feel too vulnerable or overwhelming," he explains.
While therapy is meant to be a slow, sustained process, walking away after just a few sessions can be valid in some cases, says Srishti A. Bisht, a Noida-based counselling psychologist. “Maybe you were looking for a coach-like therapist who gives homework, but ended up with someone whose approach feels too abstract or emotionally heavy. Or maybe they left you feeling judged rather than supported.
The concern, she explains, is that many clients don’t try switching—they just leave therapy altogether. In her six years of practice, 2-3% of her clients have ghosted her, she says. Sometimes, it’s not dissatisfaction, but a sense they’ve got what they came for or that things are getting uncomfortable. In those moments, Bisht suggests asking the therapist about the direction they see the work going in. “Often, the therapist can help clarify whether there’s still more to unpack."
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Alaokika Motwane, a psychotherapist who runs a practice in Mumbai and Goa, agrees. “You don’t owe anyone an explanation after just one or two sessions if it doesn’t feel like the right fit," she says. “Some clients even tell me upfront that they’re trying out a few therapists."
Most therapists offer discovery calls before proceeding with sessions to understand a client’s needs and also refer them to someone who might be a better match.
With long-term clients, a conversation helps. “I’ve had clients ask if it’s okay to try someone new, and I’ve encouraged them—sometimes suggested someone who might suit them better," Motwane says. “At the end of the day, it’s their journey. I’m just here to support it, not get attached to it. My role is to witness their journey with compassion and understanding. If a client’s exit triggers something in you, that’s something you as a therapist need to work on with your supervisor," she explains.
Whether it’s after a few sessions or many, getting some closure helps, says Singh. “I’d like to know what didn’t work—it helps me grow as a therapist." When someone just stops showing up, there’s often a stretch of uncertainty, too, he adds. “I’ve found myself wondering if they’re okay. If we’ve shared some meaningful sessions, I usually don’t mind reaching out just to check in." A few words of acknowledgement, then, offers closure to the therapist and growth for the client.
