How to heal yourself from everyday violence

We live in a world that is increasingly torn by war. Albert Einstein once said that the most important decision we will ever make in our lives is whether we believe in a friendly or a hostile universe. If our perception of the world is of it being a hostile place, our response to life and beings around us will carry seeds of violence that will ultimately impact our own health and well-being. So, how does one nurture a way of being that is anchored in a sense of friendliness and compassion towards ourselves and the world?

Also read: A practical guide to the pursuit of happiness

Is violence inherent to us?

“The nature of himsa (violence) is a part of our nature. This is why, in Patanjali’s Yoga Sūtras, the practice of yoga is articulated as that of ahimsa (non-violence)," says Saraswathi Vasudevan, co-founder of YogaVahini Foundation in Chennai and a student of yoga acharya T.K.V. Desikachar.

All living beings have a natural urge for self-preservation. When we perceive a threat, this deep-seated urge springs forth. Trauma healing methods such as somatic experiencing are based on fight, flight or freeze energies that arise during such moments.

TheYoga Sūtrās mention three ways in which one can create violence. One can inflict violence directly by oneself, indirectly by instigating others to act, or by being an approving bystander watching violence committed by another (something that we are all familiar with in our social-media fuelled lives). They also talk about six human traits that create discolorations of the mind and instigate violence: lust (kāma), anger (krodha), delusion (moha), greed (lobha), intoxication (mada) and envy (mātsarya). The intensity of compulsion one feels to act out in violence may be mild, medium or intensely strong.

“We can truly understand and practice non-violence only by understanding our own intrinsic potential to inflict violence on ourselves and others," says Vasudevan, as she reflects on the practice of ahimsa.

The Yamas in Ashtānga yoga are a set of practices around inter-personal conduct of which ahimsa is the foundational practice. Practising non-violence becomes possible when you are able to centre yourself such that you remain unaffected by the experiences of the world. For this, you need to cleanse the residues accumulated from your life experiences through a set of practices. “The whole purpose of Ashtānga yoga is to purify oneself of all the (literal and metaphorical) toxicities that one has gathered in the past, continues to gather in the present, and will continue to gather in the future," says Vasudevan. This detoxification is essential, according to yoga practices, because holding on to negative or toxic energies can lead to knotting up of the energy pathways, which can block the flow of one’s prāna (life force) and cause illnesses.

“Ahimsa is not about being too cautious about getting hurt or hurting others too, as I believe this comes from an inner location of victimization and vigilance. Ahimsa, on the other hand, comes from a space of deep clarity and compassion to oneself and the other," says Anita, a yoga therapist and healing facilitator, and founder of holistic wellness centre Vishoka in Coimbatore. “Ahimsa to me is being sensitive and understanding of what can harm me or others and therefore to avoid harming others or being harmed.", adds Anita.

 

Practising non-violence

In my coaching and therapy sessions with clients, I have often observed that the onset of various health issues begins with violation of some of the basic elements of healthy living. This includes repression of emotions, irregular diet and sleep and lack or excessive exercise routines. “I remember the first time I started working out. While focusing on my body, I also started prioritising my food and other schedules in life. The more I understood myself, the better was my capacity to understand others," says Dhvani Thakkar, a peacebuilder, educator, and designer based out of Costa Rica.

For Vasudevan, a daily practice of yoga postures (asana), breathwork (pranayama) and meditation (pratyāhāra) centres her. “Practising them allows me to see the patterns of himsa I am holding on to in my life, what are its roots, intensity, and discover who would I be if I did not have these patterns in my life," she says. Elaborating further, she says, “Our sense of well-being begins to improve only when we begin to see our reality differently. When I develop the capacity to see that I am not separate from this world, and that what I see as a problem with the world is also inside me, then I can look at life experiences in a lighter manner."

The Yoga Sūtras state that the way to end the cycle of violence arising out of one’s innate traits is to imagine in one’s mind how these actions will create grief and ignorance as unending consequences. “At the end of each day, quietly reflect on the happenings of the day while observing your breath and body. If you notice any disturbance in your breath or body as you revisit an experience, know that you are holding some residue from that experience. The pratyāhāra practice then will be to consciously let go of that energy from your system," Vasudevan explains.

“Only if we slow down, can we practice ahimsa," says Rajni Bakshi, author and founder of the YouTube channel, Ahimsa Conversations. “Having unstructured breaks and intervals of inactivity in your everyday routine will help create the necessary conditions for this," Bakshi adds. For Thakkar, open conversations could be helpful too to curb violent thoughts. Dialog, a game that she has designed, enables an individual to self-reflect while having heartfelt conversations with other players through a series of prompts.

“The practice of sharing in a circle during the game enables us to discover who we really are as people and be vulnerable. It gives us a real chance to discover what peace and compassion may look like for ourselves," Thakkar explains. Perhaps singer John Lennon captured the spirit of ahimsa when he sang in Imagine:
You may say I’m a dreamer, 
But I’m not the only one.
I hope someday you’ll join us,
And the world will live as one.

Hariprasad Varma is an executive coach & yoga therapist and the founder of Zensei in Hyderabad. He posts on X @zensei.hari.

Also read: What does it mean to be actively empathetic?