We should all be Jedi

In 2001, when the latest census figures started pouring in from the UK, data scientists and statisticians realized something that would make the funny pages the world over soon: that nearly 400,000 people in the UK identified as Jedi, member of the fictional monastic order from the Star Wars universe. The immediate provocation for this seemed to be that the government wished to know the religious affiliations of each and every one of its citizens (even though the question was a “voluntary” one). Australia has logged in more than 55,000 Jedi for every one of its last three census reports. New Zealand, always known for punching above its weight, recorded more than 50,000, the highest per capita Jedi on earth. In fact, so strong was the Force in New Zealand that the only religion that recorded higher numbers was Christianity.

This might have started as a joke, but it had now mutated with alarming ease. It was like thousands of people assembled for an aerial photography event, forming a giant middle finger for the benefit of the powers-to-be.

If you think that the Jedi census phenomenon, as it is called now, is merely a hollow, superficial gesture (the sort of thing called “clickbait” in the post-BuzzFeed era), you are sorely mistaken. Satire is at its most impactful when directed against institutions rather than individuals. And while we Indians haven’t quite been able to take ourselves a little less seriously, we did get the NOTA (none of the above) option on the ballot.

In the Star Wars prequel trilogy, the planet of Naboo is under siege by a consortium of rogue planets called the Trade Federation. So stealthy is this invasion that Naboo actually has to send its queen to the galaxy’s central government (the Republic) to convince them that there is an invasion at all. It’s important to note that in between the first trilogy and the prequel trilogy, mankind invented a sneaky little thing called the Internet. And to me, the invasion of Naboo is a pretty good metaphor for the way mega corporations are directly tying up with governments to maximize their reach and, consequently, profits. Julian Assange, in his book When Google Met WikiLeaks, went so far as to say that Eric Schmidt and Jared Cohen, two of the most powerful figures in Google, were conducting “back-channel diplomacy” for Washington. In return, Google would get first bite at emerging markets in surveillance and espionage technology.

Friends of democracy, therefore, must strongly consider becoming one with the Force. Focus will yield knowledge. Knowledge accreted with patience and tempered by humility will yield wisdom. And wisdom is what will save the world in the end. We should all strive to walk the path prescribed by Master Yoda, our foremost grammarian. We should clear our minds, let go of fear, doubt and disbelief.

We should all be Jedi.

Aditya Mani Jha is a journalist and fiction writer